Brain patterns

The tittle has just slight connection with the subject of this blog. I thought of it while I was sweating under the cloudy skies of San-Miguel Avenue, Ortigas: the shit you have to go through in life.

Today was the most frustrating day of my life.

I went to some company and passed my resume, for the second time. I really liked this company. I keep on coming back applying eventhough I know it will be really really hard for me to to be employed, if not impossible. I am desperate and optimistic.

I never liked bragging, I don’t get anything from it. But this occasion calls for it. My title ENGINEER is shouting on the top of my resume and the fact that I am a topnotcher is placed in a conspicuous place, you wont miss it. I feel like a ballon, big but full of air. I am very much aware of how I performed in school, and it is not pleasing.

So I entrered the building, for the second time, still hoping. I saw the same woman who got my resume fo the first time. She saw the front page of my resume and told me to sit down for a while. As I walk through the hall way I recalled  the very simmilar experience. I brace my self for a plunge. Not a minute later she came out and talked to me.

my world crumbled when she said, "It’s a requirement that a cadet has no failing grade". It’s an inevitable truth and there’s completely nothing I can do. Frustration defined. I was imagining how I looked like when I faked my smile.

Then one thing I wont forget happened. While she was explaining how important the criteria of "how the applicant perfomed in school" she stopped talking then smiled then handed my resume back. Man. I guess there’s somethings in life that I should be regretting, but I don’t/won’t. I walked around and around waiting for the jeep smoking.

I walked out infuriated. Not to the woman or to the company or to me. I was infuriated because of the realities of the world, it bit me big time.

I applied next to another company, the result was somewhat hillarious and wierd for the people who worked there. I didn’t mind, I saw the worst.

I still applied for 2 companies under the heat of the sun. I walked a long road sweating my collar and bursting the veins of my legs. Again I felt the rigors of the street, but now I’m happy for it. At least it reminded me that i’m still alive.

Be resilient, I kept telling myself. Im afraid when the time will come when I can accept the idea, cause when that happens I know I have given up.

Ohh the shit we have to go through in life. While were on it, why not have it special. I offer you "Dung Frost", the coolest shit in town.